I met this man recently that challenged my non-monogamous beliefs. He made me feel possessive, jealous, and even a bit bratty 😮💨 lol. I mean I wanted to bottle up his love and put it up high on a shelf for no one else to touch. 😩
But after sitting with it, it made me realize that I didn't want to stop him from loving others, I just wanted to know that our connection was special.
This experience really highlighted the difference between SELFISH LOVE and FLUID LOVE for me:
🔐 Selfish Love: "You can't spend so much time with them; you should prioritize our relationship."
💓Fluid Love Alternative: "I love that you have meaningful connections with others. Let's find a balance that works for both of us, so our relationship can thrive while respecting your other connections."
🔐Selfish Love: "I don't want you to share our special moments with anyone else. It's just for us."
💓Fluid Love Alternative: "Our moments together are incredibly precious. At the same time, I appreciate the idea of sharing our joy and creating positive experiences with others who matter to us."
🔐Selfish Love: "I don't like it when you express affection for others; it makes me feel insecure."
💓Fluid Love Alternative: "I sometimes struggle with feelings of insecurity, but I want to work on that. Your ability to show love and affection is beautiful, and I want to support and celebrate that, even when it involves others."
It’s important to understand that these are normal human feelings and they exist within all types of relationships. Validating yourself is key here.
Instead of trying to restrict your partners’ love, nurture the uniqueness of your own relationship while honoring their ability to love freely.
Grateful to integrate my experiences with what I teach in my coaching programs. Feel free to contact me for support with navigating your non-monogamous dynamics. My inbox is open